What if Elena initiated the kiss?
by Something Illusory
Summary: —3x10 DE kiss— Her hand cupped his cheek and she brought his face to hers. "If you're going to feel guilty about something, feel guilty about this."


Her body shook with the intensity of the situation. She had just lost her little brother and all their memories forever erased by the power of vampire compulsion. For some reason, she couldn't shake the thought that this was "good" for him. She couldn't believe that this was right. She's horrible. Horrible because it's all her fault in the first place. For being adopted. For being the doomed doppleganger. How many times had she wished that she were someone else? Someone thought could make everything okay. Someone that didn't look like Katherine and didn't have blood that created hybrids. Someone who's best friend was a witch and ex-boyfriend a vampire. Someone that didn't get Jenna killed. Or John. Or put Jeremy in danger.

She stalked out onto the front porch, a heavy sigh falling from her lips. "I feel like a horrible person." she said blankly, staring out onto the street and yet not really seeing anything at all.

"You just saved his life, Elena." Damon said obviously behind her. She knew he was there, she heard him following her from Jeremy's bedroom. "Take it from me," he offered. "Strange is bad. Dead is worse."

Elena could practically roll her eyes. He didn't get it. She began pacing across the long porch of her house, head shaking in denial. "I just can't stop thinking about what happened last time I asked you to compel him."

"He found out." He said lightly. "And he got over it. Again, not dead, Elena." His eyes watched her as she paced to and from the edges of the porch. He stepped closer, turning her gently to catch her eyes. "He's _so _lucky to have you for a sister."

And he said this in such a sweet, sincere tone that she couldn't help but look at him helplessly and say, "Thank you." and watch the smirk creep onto his face.

"No problem."

She shook her head helplessly. "Not just for this, Damon. For everything. I don't know what I do if you weren't here." Her words were so pure that he couldn't help but stare at her in awe. She was actually thanking him for being there for her — as if such a thing were great or significant. Didn't she know? Hadn't he promised he would never leave her? He took this thought, this incredible thought that she was admitting she had needed him and only him, and grasped it. He held it delicately in the palm of his hands and then swallowed it thickly down his throat until it seemed to etch itself permanently in his heart. He could never forget this moment in which he has waited for all along; to be the one she needed.

And then the realization that she needed to know. He couldn't bear the thought of her finally coming to terms with herself and how she felt when she still thought that Stefan betrayed them. He took a step back, eyes turning hard. "You should know this, Elena."

She stared at him, curious and afraid.

"Stefan didn't screw us over." he blurted. "He screwed us over but he had a good reason."

Elena watched him carefully. "What?"

"He saved Klaus to save me." he said softly. Elena's brow crumbled but he continued before she could speak. "And then he stole the coffins to get even." Damon turned around and walked away from her, unable to deal with how she might react.

"Damon if he did it to protect you…then, why would he even do that…what does that even mean?" she scrambled for words. If Stefan saved his brother, again, then why couldn't he bring himself to care again? Why, even after his freedom was given back to him, couldn't he love her again?

"What does it mean?" Damon mumbled, turning toward her. "It means I'm an idiot. 'Cause I thought, for one second, that I wouldn't have to feel guilty anymore."

"Wait, what are you talking about? Guilty for what?"

And then he stepped closer, eyes staring deep inside of her beautiful brown orbs and searching for something that he couldn't quite find just yet. As he stepped closer, she studied his face, and knew immediately where this was going. But this time it was inevitable.

"For wanting what I want." he said casually, but firmly, as if somehow Elena should have known all along.

And she did. As his face leaned towards hers, she shook her head and whispered, "Damon.." A caution.

"No..I know..believe me, I get it." he mumbled, then seemed to almost smile sadly to himself a bit and sighed, "Brother's girl and all."

She swallowed thickly, her heart breaking as he said this. She knew Damon was in love with her. Had she always known? No. Suspected it? Yes. Damon and she had a relationship like no other. An understanding on such a great height that couldn't be conquered or mastered by anyone else in the world. He saved her. Protected her. Understood her.

The question was: did she love him back?

Of course she did.

The _real _question was: was she in love with him?

Her eyes lingered on his and she whispered pitifully, "Stefan has….Stefan has done so much for me. He was always there. I thought..I thought he'd always be there for me. But he's gone, Damon. He's changed and I can't help who he is now. I can't help but be afraid because he may never go back to the Stefan both of us once knew. He's a monster. He betrayed us to save you and still could care less about me or my family or anybody else."

Tears pooled in her eyes, threatening to overflow the edges and glide down her cheeks as if every word she had said had pained her to say. And it all honesty, it did. But she couldn't cry.

She couldn't cry because it needed to be known.

"I'm not his girl, Damon. Not anymore."

And she almost expected a light to flicker in his eyes as she stated it. She expected him to grab her face and kiss her and confess himself to her but instead he said nothing, only watched her in slight confusion. And, well, disbelief because she was actually claiming her and Stefan were over.

Damon took a step back and turned his head, obviously heading towards the stairs. But she couldn't take it. She could not stand the idea of him leaving her now this way on the porch they had so many moments standing on before.

Her hand cupped his cheek and she brought his face to hers. "If you're going to feel guilty about something, feel guilty about this."

Their lips met passionately, but gently, and it seemed as though her body had burst into raging flames. Damon's lips matched hers perfectly - far more perfectly than Stefan's did - and in perfect sync they danced together. His hands found rest just below her jawline and her hands had moved to cover his hands. She stroked them with her thumb.

And then she began to become lightheaded for soon she realized she was here kissing Damon. Her heart fluttered dangerously at the thought she was enjoying this kiss. But oh it was so delicious..

And just like that their lips parted, now both open and gasping for breath. They touched briefly before parting again and she looked up into his eyes. Once hard, now soft with love and clear adoration. His features radiated with pure happiness, a smile brought to his lips.

And a smirk because he noticed that she was in shock.

Her body had shut down. Even though their lips had parted and his hands removed themselves from tucked beneath her hair, her hands remained in place. Her lips quivered in great confusion and she struggled for words. How…how…was she still breathing? Did he steal every last of her air? It seemed that way.

It was that way.

And he knew it.

"Good night, Elena." he whispered and turned to quickly descend from the porch.

She shook her head to attempt to clear it and failed miserably. She watched him go, and once his dark figure escaped her sight, she brought two fingers to her lips and felt where his had been only seconds ago.

Yes. It was clear now. So clear that she couldn't believe she hadn't seen it before.

She was in love with Damon Salvatore.


End file.
